Soul Mate Consultation
Heart & Soul – Finding ‘The One’
So many of my clients are successful, wonderful people, yet they are still missing that one special person in their life. They do everything they know how to do: positive affirmations, internet dating, making sure they ‘look the part’, but still the person of their dreams remains elusive. Some try to make do with second best, kissing a lot of frogs and hoping that it will all turn out right, but ultimately they know in their hearts this current one isn’t actually The One. Others keep falling madly in love with people who are not available or just not that interested and suffer great blows to their self-esteem and self-worth when yet another frog turns into a toad.
I know. I’ve been there. After a failed marriage back in the 19 somethings, I spent over 10 years and ever trick in the book trying to find ‘The One’. I went to every self-help course going and got thoroughly bored of writing ‘the relationship of my dreams’ in the ‘what do you want to get out of this’ box. I internet dated literally hundreds of men over that time. At one point I was on a mission and dated two men a week for nearly a year. It took me a lot of soul searching to work out that I was treating dates like a job interview.
Mostly the men were lovely. Kind, caring, sweet. But just not for me. No spark. But that’s not to say there weren’t a few awful dates. Like the one where the guy jumped out of the taxi at our meeting spot, took one look at me and started running down the street shouting ‘I just can’t do this’. Ouch.
Or the one where we spent a whole evening having a lovely dinner at his place, for him then to announce at the end that he’d got together an old girlfriend he’d been pining for for years – and showed me her picture. When I asked him why on earth he didn’t cancel our date, he said he just didn’t know how. What?!? I left in an angry hurry as you can imagine. Ouch.
Or the one where this old guy turned up who was at least thirty years older than me. He’d lied on his profile because his wife had just died and he was so lonely. It was sad and I spent an evening doing grief counselling. Certainly not what I expected, but his pain was very real and you’d have needed a heart of stone to get cross with him. Little Ouch.
And then there was the one…but enough. You get the picture.
My self-esteem in the ‘finding a man’ stakes was at rock bottom. I’d dieted, exercised, had various makeovers and done everything I knew how to look presentable. I’d written affirmations, gone to self-help courses, therapy, and spend literally months of time analysing myself, pleading and begging in my journal. Dear God. What’s wrong with me?
But then something shifted. I can’t quite pin point the exact tarot reading (I was doing so many at this stage) and I can’t put it into words, but it just clicked that my attitude to Mr Right was all wrong. Spontaneously I started enquiring about what I would need to give up, surrender and let go of rather than what I needed to create, cause, plan and manage. It was a profound shift from the masculine to the feminine within. I won’t lie, there was a lot of inner work involved and sometimes it was painful, but once I found the right track I was off and running.
And a while later, on the first internet date after many years, there he was. The One. He seemed like a bit of a frog at first and I had to kiss him a few times (that was part of the Lesson), but very quickly he just morphed into a prince and within a few weeks I knew he was the man of my dreams.
The rest, as they say, is history. We now live and work together in our own business and couldn’t be happier. Life has it’s ups and downs, it’s struggles, but every day I’m grateful to him and for him and for the Soul work that brought us together. It was a tough and lengthy Soul lesson, but I discovered that who you are on the inside really does reflect what happens on the outside. The answers really are within.
The Journey Without End
And of course the Soul work never stops. Keeping a relationship together and flourishing also takes work. The Soul uses intimate relationships to reflect back at us who we really are on the inside, and sometimes I don’t like what I see! A Soul mate is a living, breathing being, not an object to be controlled, possessed, managed or taken for granted and Love is choice made in every moment. Growing and flourishing together is a spiritual as well as emotional journey and I know that what stops working in a relationship has nothing to do with ‘the other’, they are just a mirror of your own Soul. Ultimately your love, peace and happiness is in your own hands, or rather your Soul.
Tarot, approached as Soul work, offers insight and transformation that is powerful, yet gentle. It gives you feedback that is very difficult to get in any other way. Getting the same card over and over (mine was The Tower), lets you know whether you’ve actually made the subconscious shift or not. You can’t lie to yourself, or pretend you’ve ‘got it handled’. And when you finally decide to listen, then The World (Tarot Trump 21) is your oyster.